Journal Entry

"I have been so sad lately and I'm not sure why. Classes are very overwhelming. I'm frustrated because I have never had a problem with handling my classes. It is only the second week and I am so tired and worn out. I feel like all I ever do is work on homework. If I'm not working on it I am constantly worrying about it. Then there is work. My job is driving me absolutely crazy. I hate taking the blame for other people's mistakes. It is so irksome that parents get mad at me when I wasn't even with their kid all day. Then the problem with the checks is absolutely ridiculous. It doesn't take two months to sort out a bank problem. So I put in my two weeks, but I don't know if it will actually happen. I don't care anymore though. I have to concentrate on school because I can't afford to fail any of my classes. It still worries me though, because I am constantly sick. I wake up in the mornings and my stomach hurts and my head hurts. I have just been depressed. It has gotten so bad that sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed in the mornings. I feel like I am completely losing control of my life, and I have no idea how to regain control again. I feel so alone. I've wanted to talk to James about this stuff, but I have worried him so much already, first with being sick, then with that caffeine freak-out. I just love him so much I don't want him to worry about me. I just wish I knew what to do. Then we are trying to have a baby. I am extremely worried about that because I don't always want to be sad around my child--I feel bad enough being sad around James. I just keep telling myself that I need to take it one day at a time. Just get through this one assignment or just be happy through this one class. I feel like my life is turning into a lie!!"
That was the saddest page on Melissa's journal. She quickly ripped it up so no one else would see. Her husband and family were already worried enough about her, she doesn't want to put them through more pain. As she dropped the tiny pieces of paper into the garbage can, she felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes. She quickly blinked them away, forced a smile onto her face, and walked downstairs to the dinner table where the rest of her family was waiting for her.